dear people in america (to those who aren’t in america, this first part doesn’t apply to you),
as China is 12 hours ahead of Boston and the rest of the great state of massachusetts, it is only fair to say that I have had 12 more hours than y’all to really reflect on the World Series win of 2013. think about it (but don’t question my math). the red sox victory happened my time around 11:30 am on October 31st. it happened your time at 11:30pm the previous day. so basically, i had known about the win for 12 hours by the time you guys knew about it. its basic math. much like diversity is the name of an old wooden ship from the civil war era, it is known that China just knows things hours in advance from the rest of the real word (read: east coast USA). how else do you think Chinese people become so smart? you really can’t argue with that logic
anyways, i digress, back to the real reflection:
Of all times, it had to happen while i was in China. not to say that i’m not happy. i’m, as shane victorino would put it, rejubilated. sure i missed boston and all, but that doesn’t really make me sad/angry or anything of that matter as its China and everything is crazy awesome over here. what i did feel bad about was confusing the crap outta the chinese in the building.
there i was, standing in the program director’s office watching the game with him and a classmate. koji winds, delivers, and seals the end to a wonderful season. after the normal high fives, holy shits, eyes brimming with tears of joy, i left the office with nowhere to go and with a lot of unreleased celebration energy. so naturally, because others were still in class, i silently victory danced down the hall and down stairs and through the subsequent 2 halls on the way down, no doubt confusing many chinese who saw me and probably dont even know the first thing about baseball. i really couldn’t care less.
the championship is pure bliss.
anywhoo, this series not only delivered to boston a championship, but also cemented david ortiz as one of the most dominant postseason players in the history of the sport: batting a ridiculous .688 and having an obp of .760 in the series. seriously. we haven’t seen this sort of dominance since the sun never set on the British empire, since the free world appeased Hitler with the Sudetenland (too soon?), since nemo clogged up the water purification system, since Henry Clay was the Great Compromiser, since Dewey defeated Truman, since the Black Plague, since the great Irish potato famine, since the romans conquered the known world, since pompeii burst, since the crusades, since the Beatles took America like an outlet takes a plug, since humans first created fire, dare i say since the big bang? nonetheless, it was powerful, unstoppable, and papi
so basically, Boston is back. this championship, along with the past decade of sports has merely added on to the greatness that is Boston including:
1. first subway system in the U.S.
2. the boston tea party (cause who doesn’t like impersonating/racially stereotyping to deceive british people?)
3. the boston massacre
4. the boston molassacre. admit it, having a 25 foot tidal wave of piping hot molasses coming rolling down the North Boston streets is pretty cool
5. paul revere, even though he was the only rider out of 3 who got captured
6. being in the new england
7. being close to maine, vermont, rhode island, and new hampshire (sorry connecticut you are the worst new england state. mostly a bunch of blood traitors)
8. being the best city ever
moreover, st. louis has furthered its argument as being a completely mediocre city in all aspects of the word mediocre and useless (except for providing delight to bostonians). lets start out with the obvious first:
1. in the midwest
2. the missouri compromise
3. being neutral in the Civil War. really?? at least pick a side. you’re as bad as the Freys
4. does that sorta make Dred Scott their equivalent of the Red Wedding in terms of seriousness?
next up are the more subtle aspects of being debilitatingly inferior to every other city, specifically boston and boston sports, since the beginning of time, including providing boston with a championship in every major sport:
5. losing 1 super bowl to the Pats
6. losing 3 nba finals to the Celts
7. losing 1 stanley cup finals to the Bruins
8. losing 2 world series to the Sox
9. having an overall record against Boston teams in sports championships of 3-7
the world hasn’t seen that magnitude of averageness since the Chinese sloppily fell into the hundred years of humiliation after being the pinnacle of human civilization. unfortunately for st. louis, they were never the pinnacle of anything and will never be.
sorry im not sorry of being proud of my city. i realize some of you will think i’m being a dick. to you people, i say: yup i am, probably just solidifying your perception of Boston sports fans. i’m not usually like this, but right now i really can’t help it. my constrained joy combined with my inability to be in new england is driving me mad with happiness and love for Boston. basically i’m like a small child on christmas morning with unbridled giddiness (whose old english definition literally means “possessed by a god”)
after roughly 4 months since the heartbreaking loss of both Paul Pierce, KG, and the Bruins in the stanley cup, and two years after some of the most painful baseball this city has seen, we realy needed this win. also, red sox baseball, probably more than any other sport in any other city, is a religion. housed in the cathedral of baseball, it is the only apt way to describe the unquestioned faith, love, and devotion that most true bostonians/new englanders give to this team
anywhooo i’m done ranting about boston’s greatness. i apologize for the digression. BACK TO THE MIDDLE KINGDOM
i’m not too sure how i’ve gone this long without a mulan reference
its been an exciting few days! mostly the accident/possible terrorist attack (probably not) in Tiananmen square. its been all over the news so i won’t describe it. but China has definitely had changes since two days ago. most drastic is the increase in security forces on campus. so many more policemen/women have been seen prowling the streets. even more so, it has brought out the 90 year old unintentional racist in all chinese people. meaning my mother. at dinner the other night, we were talking bout the attack and she casually mentioned to me that if i happen to see a uighur (the minority group being blamed for the attack), that i should stay very far away from him/her.
the lack of a PC movement in China isn’t astounding to me, yet it still sometimes happens to astound me. in some ways it is nice, other ways, like this racism, it is not. but the Chinese are definitely a heartier and more tough culture than the U.S. thanks to the lack of debilitating PC. people say things. some people choose to ignore them. it is how life is here and with a population of 1.3 billion and a culture rooted in thousands of years of history, i doubt it will change anytime soon
alright i should probably go do some work. been too excited since the win to do any…
song of the post: Amsterdam by Gregory Alan Isakov
bonus halloween song: boys becoming men, men becoming wolves! Werewolf Bar Mitzvah by Tracy Jordan
’til next time